The Hidden Cost: Mental Health and Bullying

The impact of bullying doesn't end when the bell rings. They follow children home. Into their bedrooms. Into their thoughts. Into the stories they tell themselves about who they are and who they’re not, and they don’t just disappear after a good weekend. They linger. Quietly. Persistently. Whispering till grows into a yell.

You can’t always see the effects of bullying, not even in the classroom. But bullying leaves a mark. And for many children, that mark shows up in their mental health long before it ever shows up in their behaviour.

If you need something more visible, something measurable, consider this: the financial cost of bullying is staggering. It’s a silent drain on our health systems, education budgets, and workforce wellbeing and it’s often underestimated.

• In New Zealand, where student-reported bullying rates are among the highest in the OECD, workplace bullying alone costs employers an estimated NZD $1.34 billion annually, a figure that only scratches the surface of what begins in school.

• In Australia, the economic cost of bullying victimisation was estimated at AUD $763 million in 2016 alone, including health care, lost productivity, and educational support. The long-term cost for each school-year cohort over 20 years was AUD $1.8 billion.

• In the United States, the toll is even more visible. In California alone, student absenteeism due to feeling unsafe costs schools an estimated USD $276 million in lost funding each year. In 2023, one California district paid $27 million in a single settlement to the family of a 13-year-old boy who died after a bullying incident.

We often say bullying is hidden. But when you look at the numbers the dollars lost, the lives changed, the systems strained you realise the damage isn’t invisible. It’s just not talked about.

Children who experience bullying are at higher risk of developing:

• Separation anxiety

• Generalised anxiety disorder

• Depression

• Phobias

• Poor self-esteem

• Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, or sleep disruption

Child may withdraw from friendships, disengage from schoolwork, or become hypervigilant meaning they are constantly on edge, waiting for the next comment, the next whisper, the next shove. Over time, if it’s not addressed, that fear can become part of who they believe they are that they deserve this treatment for some reason.

But it’s not just those who are targets of bullying.

Children who engage in bullying behaviour are also at risk. Research shows they are more likely to:

• Struggle with emotional regulation

• Be diagnosed with ADHD, conduct disorder, or oppositional defiant disorder

• Experience suicidal thoughts and behaviours

• Engage in substance use or criminal activity later in life

• Suffer from poor academic and employment outcomes

Beneath the aggression, there’s often hurt. There’s fear. There’s unmet need. And when we only punish the behaviour without exploring what’s driving it, we miss the chance to stop the cycle.

Then there are the children caught in both roles the ones who are targets of bullying and who bully others. This group is most at risk (Rigby, 2019). They carry both the internalised pain of being hurt and the externalised behaviour of pushing others away. They’re more likely to experience:

• Self-harm

• Eating disorders

• Depression and anxiety

• Extreme emotional volatility

• Long-term trust and relationship difficulties

They’re also the most misunderstood. Teachers see the aggression but not the fear. Adults see the harm they cause, but not the harm they’re surviving.

If we’re serious about preventing bullying in our classroom and school, we need to stop thinking in binaries. These kids are not “bullies” or “victims.” They’re children and they’re hurting. Some act out. Some shut down. Some do both. But all of them need support. Not just to stop the bullying, but to heal from it otherwise as a country we might be ranked 1st in the OECD at bullying.